When I began this blog, I promised myself I would be authentic, real. Not telling everything but telling it like it is and tough luck if you can’t handle the truth. I have had to sit on this post for quite a while (like four months) because it’s very personal and it involves my kids. However, part of the reason I find myself writing this particular post is because no one really shares the truth about some less fuzzy aspects of adoption. I think the reasons are many. Some believe if you share some of the more unseemly parts of adopting, it will scare people away from adoption. Some, like me, are just plain embarrassed. We feel like we failed or are in some way defective. I mean, look at all the adoptive family blogs on the internet, with smiling gorgeous kids who do all the fabulous things, and love, love, love them all, “we have 10 perfect kids with special needs so let’s add two more!” I am not knocking them, I am just skeptical. There was a time when I arrogantly believed I was an international adoption expert. Then child #4 entered our lives.